Power duo are keeping it real
DAILY CHATS HELP KEEP THIS MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BOND STRONG
Martha and Mary Kalifatidis have emerged as Australian TV’s mother and daughter power duo. Viewers fell in love with Martha’s authenticity on Married At First Sight and now it is Mary’s turn to shine as a standout on Big Brother. Tough love has been a hallmark of their relationship but when it counts, they are thick as thieves and talk daily on the phone from Sydney and Melbourne respectively. Ahead of Mother’s Day on Sunday, they share the secrets of their relationship with SMARTdaily.
MARTHA KALIFATIDIS, 32
The best advice my mum has ever given me is to not care what people think.
In terms of reality TV and social media, she hasn’t really guided me through that because she doesn’t have any experience with that, or hadn’t – until now.
Mum has, however, given me advice in how she deals with negativity and that has been so helpful for me. Without that, I think I would be so lost and so broken.
Mum and I have been really close my whole life. I think I have learnt so much from her.
She has always been a trailblazer, she has always done what she wanted to do. Nothing will stand in her way. She did spend the majority of her youth raising us and I guess helping my dad, Theo, follow his dreams.
Even in that role of being supportive, she still stood out. She juggled a lot, teaching us that we can do everything and that nothing is unachievable.
Mum has always been a super strong role model, she did everything. Our dad was always overseas working for months at a time, so Mum was both mum and dad for a long time.
She would take us to school, pick us up, take us to swimming and tennis lessons, entertain us after school (usually a trip to Bakers Delight), host all our birthday parties, make the cakes and sew our outfits.
If she needed something done she would do it herself like paint the house, mow the lawn, stencil our rooms (it was the ’90s) and still cook dinner for us all.
She supported every (crazy) idea any one of us had. You name it, I’ve done it and always with her support.
My mum has this attitude that I wish that I had, like who really cares, why would somebody that you don’t know have such an impact on your life. Like, who are they and why do you care? Get over it. She just has this mentality, the way she deals with things and I feel like I am still learning that. Growing up her motto was “Who are they?” She would say this any time one of us would come home from school with a sob story about someone being cruel or nasty. It was a simple saying, yet so effective. Also the tone was worth noting – very exaggerated and really dragged out the “whooooo” and the “theyyyyyy”. Basically her message was “those that matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter” sort of thing. I’m not mad that it’s rubbed off on me, so thanks Mary. Oh yeah, and we call her Mary, which is funny because everyone else calls her Mumma.
Mum taught us to say what we think and how we feel, even if it is going to offend someone. We are not here to change anyone’s mind. If you don’t like me, that is cool, I don’t want you to. I have got enough friends, enough family, enough love in my life.
MARY KALIFATIDIS, 56
Mum to Martha, Sophie, 29, Nickolaos, 22, wife to Theo, 56. My children are everything to me. I’ve learnt so much from them.
From Martha I have learnt that because of what she went through (MAFS), she is so resilient now, she has got like a superpower now. She is that strong and so hard-working. I don’t think people realise how hardworking Martha has always been. At 15 she was doing telemarketing, as well as working at a cafe and in a shop selling clothes. Martha has always been a worker. It has been interesting to watch my children navigate social media. It is so foreign to me. People think we live in a perfect world but no one is perfect. I am very protective of my kids.
Being a mum is all I know. I have three younger sisters and my mum would work from home so I helped raise them ... changing nappies, making dinner. I would come home from high school and my mum would get me to cook. My kids say I am not very motherly, maybe because of the way I was raised by my mother. We weren’t that affectionate. It was like, get on with your life. You have to cook and do things, there was no time for hugs or I miss you. I am motherly to everyone else though.
Because I was raised that way and my husband was raised that way, we didn’t know how to show affection. Even until today, I am hard with my kids but I show the motherly side to the rest of the world. I used to hug the kids until they were about five years old then I stopped. I wanted them to be strong, not the sooky type.
It was like tough love. I was very disciplined with them. There were so many rules. I had them super OCD with washing their hands and telling them not to touch anything dirty. It was constant. Looking back now, would I do the same? No. But I was so young as a mother, I didn’t know. It was ... how I was raised. I would give my life for my children. If they need something, I will be there.
Big Brother continues Sunday 7.00pm, MondayWednesday 7.30pm on Channel 7