Reality TV star shines light on cancer battle
Mother and son use public profile to raise awareness of deadly disease and treatment options
EVEN hunky reality television stars still need their mum and so it was that Robyn Ellis found herself protecting her little boy, hiding from him the true extent of her breast cancer treatment while he was filming The Bachelorette. Jake, 31, has always known his mum was sick.
He was only seven years old and his younger brother Luke just two when Robyn, now 63, was first diagnosed in 1993 – leaving her husband Brian to take on a lot while the boys were still so young.
“I remember mum had to be away from us for a long time. The smell of the hospital has always stayed with me,” Jake says.
The young mum had a mastectomy but three years later the cancer was back again, this time requiring more surgery, high-dose chemotherapy and stem cell treatment.
“That gave me 15 years in the clear which was amazing. But it seemed to go in the blink of an eye,” Robyn says.
“In 2011 the cancer came back again and hasn’t left me alone since.”
Unbeknown to Jake, while he was filming scenes with the gorgeous Georgia Love last year, his mum was suffering complications.
Georgia and Jake bonded on the show over their mothers’ shared experiences with cancer.
While the pair had chemistry, neither was willing to move away from their ailing mothers and Georgia eventually chose contestant Lee Elliott.
Sadly, Georgia’s mother Belinda, 60, died of her pancreatic cancer in November.
While Jake knew his mum was sick, the Ellis family chose not to tell him Robyn required yet more surgery until after filming was over.
“I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to worry him,” Robyn explains.
“I think mothers with cancer often do that sort of thing. They want to protect their families.
“I know there are counselling services available but sometimes I wish there was more done for families.
“If there was someone who could reach out and say, ‘How are you going mate? Your mum or sister is going through this and she’s being looked after medically but what can we do for you?’.”
Until Jake appeared on The Bachelorette, the Ellis family were extremely private about Robyn’s cancer.
Although close friends and family all knew so they could offer love and support, Robyn previously found it easier to keep her cards close to her chest.
When preparing for this photoshoot, Robyn initially debated whether she should wear a scarf after realising the bandage covering her chemotherapy port was visible under her blouse.
But like Jake, Robyn instead chose to use her new-found public profile to raise awareness and so opted to leave it visible.
That’s not the only thing that has changed for Robyn.
I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to worry him. I think mothers with cancer often do that sort of thing. They want to protect their families.
During her 23 years of living with breast cancer, she has noticed a remarkable change in the treatments offered.
When she was initially diagnosed, cancer was something whispered about in hushed tones with patients kept away from their families in dreary hospital rooms.
Now she receives her treatment at Icon Cancer Care among other women wearing beautiful bright scarves who feel empowered to discuss their journeys.
“In 23 years everything has changed so much. There are drugs for just about everything now,” Robyn says.
“Even this round of chemotherapy, I was expecting to have all the usual nausea but, no, they gave me a different medication and what a difference it has made.
“I think women aren’t as self-conscious when they have cancer anymore. You’ll see a woman walking down the street with a scarf and you know she’s out there, she’s living life and she’s fighting.”
With such incredible differences made to the treatment and stigma of breast cancer in Robyn’s lifetime, the Ellis family are passionate about supporting cancer charities.
They’ve seen first-hand just how important the funds raised for research are and the incredible difference to the quality of life new treatments can make.
When Jake was asked to be ambassador for the Pink Ribbon Cup Raceday on the Gold Coast, he jumped at the chance to use his Bachelorette profile for good.
“I’m honoured to have been asked to be a part of it,” Jake says. “Mum having cancer has been really hard and it’s something you never get used to even though it’s all that I’ve ever known.
“She is the strongest woman I’ve ever met. She copes with it all and takes so much on her own shoulders.”
Although he spent four years living in Western Australia for work, Jake is happy to be living back under his mum’s Benowa Waters roof.
With little brother Luke living nearby, Robyn says having her family and friends support her is the reason she is able to keep going every day despite grappling with the terrible disease for more than two decades.
Jake may still be single, but there’s no doubt he’s leading a life filled to the brim with love.
“It’s just so unfair mum has cancer all this time. We just wish it would go away,” Jake says.
“But I know there are so many people out there facing similar battles and we are lucky in so many ways.”
It’s just so unfair mum has cancer all this time. We just wish it would go away. But I know there are so many people out there facing similar battles