Feeling good?
Healthy self-esteem is about having a sense of achievement
MANY of us struggle with feeling good about ourselves and spend a lot time searching for ways to feel better knowing that the answer lies in improving our levels of self-confidence and self-esteem, but most of the time we simply don’t know how.
If self-confidence is “the trust or faith that you have in yourself and your abilities” and self-esteem is “the opinion you have of yourself”, how would you rate your levels? The two are essentially dissimilar yet are intricately connected.
Healthy and realistic levels of confidence and self-esteem influence our behaviour (towards our self and others) and also our ability to be successful in life and while some people may seem overly confident others aren’t at all. What makes the difference?
Both are shaped by our early life experiences and what we learn from those around us as we grow and develop.
For example if we were encouraged when young to explore, be independent and take some risks in a supportive, accepting and emotionally stable environment, it is likely that our self-confidence levels would be healthy.
On the other hand, if we were raised in a very protective, overly anxious, critical or demanding environment and not allowed to explore or experiment then we may feel inadequate and incompetent with doubts about our abilities, resistance to new experiences and experience low confidence as a result.
Self-esteem and our capacity to like or love ourselves are equally shaped by the behaviour of others and how we are treated. Healthy self-esteem is about having a sense of achievement, helps us through the challenges of life, provides an inner strength and improves our sense of feeling valued and valuable. It’s less about what we are capable of and more about the extent to which we like and accept who we are in our uniqueness, without the need to compare ourselves with others which can be hard to do.
What’s the answer? Having realistic and healthy levels of confidence and self-esteem is learned not inherited and is an important part of building sufficient resilience to handle life’s inevitable ups and down. It can take time to develop them particularly if we are starting at a low point but it is possible with small steps and realistic goals.
‘‘ Healthy and realistic levels of confidence and self-esteem influence our behaviour.