Being the bridesmaid

There’s more to being part of the bridal party than meets the eye

BEING asked to be a bridesmaid is considered a big honour, but it’s also a pretty big job. That’s why it’s important that you don’t say yes without thinking about what you’re doing.

While it is polite to answer a bridesmaid offer in a relatively short window, it’s worth considering the following before saying yes.

CONSIDER WHY AND BE HONEST: Before you worry about whether you need to say yes or no to the bridesmaid offer, have a think about why you might have been offered the position in the first place. Is this a matter of obligation more than an intentional invitation? Or does the bride really want you there?

Also be honest with yourself about your relationship with the bride. She might consider you a close friend, but if you don’t consider her a close friend things might get awkward down the line as stress mounts.

COSTS: There’s no point pretending otherwise because weddings aren’t just expensive for the bride and groom. There are a number of financial outlays that are often expected of the bridesmaid, from clothing to activities, that you need to consider.

If the wedding party you’ve been invited to join is going all out, you can expect costs to be higher. If you aren’t sure if your budget will cover it, talk honestly with the bride about what is expected from you financially right from the start, so there’s no confusion.

◗ OTHER BRIDESMAIDS: When the person who has asked you to be their bridesmaid is a close friend, you’re likely to know some of the other people who will make up the bridal party. However, if there are people in the bridal party that you don’t know well, or really dislike, it’s important to think about what the overall effect might be on the wedding.

Rapport between bridesmaids makes a difference, so if you really can’t put your feelings about another bridesmaid aside, and the bride is unmovable in her need to include them, you might have to opt out.

Or just work hard to be pleasant, ignore those feelings, and move on.

PHOTO: THINKSTOCK There are a few things to consider before saying yes to becoming a bridesmaid.