Not who am I, but I am
Focus on what value you give to your life and future
AS WE search for identity and where we fit in we are often bombarded by articles, books and any number of online self-help guides that say that we need to answer the question “Why am I here?”
That is supposedly the question that directs our focus and helps us find our purpose and give our life meaning. Personally I’m not so sure that is the right question.
A few years ago I attended an esoteric training program where the small group engaged in some deep personal work exploring our “self” and the things that have shaped who we are.
Things like life experiences, our socialisation and how that shaped our beliefs, our values – lived and espoused.
We spent considerable time in silent introspection reflecting on a few questions that ultimately led to powerful changes in my relationship with myself and, by extension, others.
One of the key questions, which appears quite simple, is actually one of the most powerful questions that we can engage for reflection. The question is “Who am I?”
To some it may appear self-indulgent. However, the time spent on this one question (and believe me it was many, many hours) exposed much of the drivers of my life and behaviour, my needs, wants and desires.
Things long established in my unconscious were explored, reshaped, reframed or discarded, ultimately providing an awareness of my own truth and a powerful self-awareness and self-acceptance. I did say it was deep work, didn’t I?
In the end the answer to that question for me was as simple as the question itself. I had an epiphany and it set the platform for what lay ahead.
But it also highlighted that the question “Who am I?” is not the question either.
It appears to me that to get the most out of the gift of life that we have been given it can be simpler not to bother with the questions.
Rather, start with the answer, which for me was “I am”. With that as a starting point, we can then go on to focus on what value we give to our own lives and futures without getting so caught up in the confusion, conflict and frustration that come when we direct too much attention at finding answers to questions that may not need be asked in the first place.
What do you think? Who are you or, perhaps, who do you want to be?
To get the most out of the gift of life we have been given, it can be simpler not to bother with the questions.