Bugger the republic, here’s to the Queen!

IN trying to pander to what he might think is a large section of the Australian community by declaring his government would again raise the constitutional question of becoming a republic, federal opposition leader Bill Shorten may well have shot himself in the foot.

Just days after Bill announced his vision for a republic, news broke about our Queen Elizabeth II’s drinking habits.

The Independent reported that our Queen indulged in four cocktails each day.

“Her Majesty drinks a gin and Dubonnet with lemon and ice before lunch, a wine with lunch, and a dry martini and glass of champagne at night,” the world-wide media outlet announced.

“While she might indulge in four cocktails a day, she’s always doing it on a full stomach.”

Now, health authorities are forever telling us that more than four alcoholic drinks for a woman and five drinks for a man is considered binge drinking.

Is it any wonder she’s our highest peer?

(For the record, health authorities claim a binge drinker is considered to be anyone who drinks more than four drinks within two hours for a woman and five drinks within the same period for a man.)

However, armed with the knowledge that our Head of State is an alleged binge drinker, what Aussie would vote her out and replace Her Majesty with a president of the Republic of Australia?

I, for one, voted for the republic when the issue was last put to the people in 1999, but like most Australians I’ve moved on from that result and whether we become a republic or not doesn’t rate among my top 10 issues these days.

But upon learning that the Queen enjoys a daily tipple four times a day in fact - I’m with now the royalists.

In fact, I’d wouldn’t mind joining Lizzy II for a session; I reckon she’d fit in well with my mates who are used to a right royal booze up.

“One doesn’t want to miss one’s shout now does one,” I can hear Her Majesty say softly as she places her handbag on the bar.

Before long, my mates would have Her joining in that old Sunday session saying: “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

What’s even better about having a session with the Queen is a designated driver turning up to take us home. In a Rolls Royce, no less.

Now, that would be a sight pulling up in the ghetto.

Can’t you just picture Liz II walking out of the pub to the Rolls... meat tray under her arm.

And, it wouldn’t be the first time I’d shared a beer with a queen.

I’ll never forget that time I got separated from the lads and got lost in Kings Cross during one of our footy trips to Sydney and waltzed into a particular bar around the corner in Oxford St.

I must say I was treated like royalty in there too.

I think it was the leather pants.

Republic? You wish Bill.

❝learning

But upon that the Queen enjoys a daily tipple - four times a day in fact - I’m with the royalists.