HAVE A LAUGH

Didn’t you see it?

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?”

I said, “Yes I did, but I don’t believe everything I read.”

Cure for sickie

An employee calls his work and says, “Hey, I can’t come work today, I’m really sick. Got a headache, stomach ache and legs hurt. Very sorry.”

The boss says, “You know something, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”

Two hours later the worker calls again.

“I did what you said and I feel great. I’ll be there soon boss. By the way you’ve got a nice house.”

The grapevine

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as PINO MORE.

New pair

Doctor: “I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to operate on you again.”

Patient: “Are you kidding me?!?! Tell you what Doc, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!”