An acute grief that should be shared

ONE in four pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. It is a statistic that still surprised me even though I know friends and acquaintances who have carried that grief of a pregnancy ending.

It is usually a private pain, not often shared publicly.

I did not understand, either, the fear of miscarriage until now. For the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy it was always in the back of my mind.

Washing vegetables for salads became an act of compulsion after reading about a woman who lost her baby because of listeria (food poisoning that affects foetuses).

I went down a lot of Dr Google threads about what I should and should not eat before I realised that my actual doctor knew best.

My fear has eased with every scan, and every milestone of pregnancy reached.

And I cannot imagine the pain that comes with hearing the worst has occurred. But we need to acknowledge that it happens.

The families need to be able to speak about their experiences, and the rest of us need to know how to help them cope with their grief.

Two women and a man have shared their experiences of miscarriages in this edition of Weekend in the lead-up to tomorrow’s International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

It is a tough read, but burying our heads in the sand and pretending it does not happen is no longer an option.

I want to know what you think about their stories, and other columns and stories, in Weekend. Email weekend@newsregionalmedia.com.au.