BEATING THE FEAR FACTOR

FEELING THREATENED CAN STOP US REACHING GOALS, BUT OFTEN THE BARRIERS CAN BE BROKEN DOWN

Has there ever been a time in your life when you have really wanted to do something yet you have held back, delayed or not done it?

If so there are likely to be underlying reasons or, just maybe, some excuses, and I can certainly relate.

Whether it is a new hobby, adventure or activity, we seem to come up with obstacles that convince us not to bother taking the first step.

We might use lack of time, lack of fitness, lack of money or no one to go with as an initial excuse, or, if we do try something new and haven’t mastered it within a couple of sessions, become impatient with ourselves.

Whatever excuse we find, this is usually a sign of resistance that indicates we feel threatened in some way.

Feeling threatened indicates there is an underlying fear.

Fears of failure, success, hurting others or ourselves; experiencing judgment or ridicule; competition; and phobia-type concerns such as water, snakes, flying or heights may be valid but are often based on past experience and our assumption that it will go the same way this time.

While fear can be a powerful motivator for some it is not ideal in the long run because it keeps us in the “fight or flight” state and that creates a huge physical and psychological burden.

And then there is change, which is a big threat for some.

A change of job, house, town or routine can throw us out of our comfort zone and into uncharted territory.

It can feel much easier to stay put, take no risks and pretend we are OK with everything as it is.

But we actually carry on yearning for the change.

Adversity can also push us to take action. People who have had life-changing events, near-death experiences or been left physically less able than before often start to live life differently after the event. Many value each and every day. A counsellor I saw many years ago in London when I was feeling stuck and struggling with a decision asked: “What’s stopping you?”

When I was honest with myself there were no external barriers but many internal ones.

A great question, and one you may like to explore for yourself, is: “What’s standing in the way of you doing what you’d love to?”

If it’s something that you really, really want to do then maybe it’s time to do it.