WHEN IT COMES TO DATING, IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE

If you’re single – and looking to change that – the question you have to ask yourself in 2018 is: am I a marketable commodity?

Everything is about branding these days, including dating. Think about Apple, Google, Netflix, Toyota, or even Vegemite. It’s all about target demographic, clever catchwords and product development.

If you want to move the merchandise, you have to capture your sector of the market and, to do that, you have to work out who you appeal to.

If the answer is no one, I suggest you move countries. Remember the character in Love

Actually who worked out he was just a British guy who should be in the United States if he wanted to score the action he was after?

So where to start … go on to any online dating site and you will find a variety of adjectives used to categorise potentials. There’s sporty, bubbly, attractive, outdoorsy, romantic, sincere, active, happy and more.

Correspondingly, there is a long list of what said singles are seeking in others – fit, active, slim, happy, curious, kind, easy going and so on.

In considering your own self-advertisement, don’t get too bogged down with truth in advertising.

Have you ever seen Mr Wrong describe himself as, “insecure, middle-aged guy who could afford to turn off the TV and get off the sofa is seeking a woman who enjoys cooking, cleaning and listening to complaints about ex-wife”?

That said, if you feel unable to indulge in the sort of ruthlessness involved in acquiring a date or a mate in our society and economy, then enlist help.

While you may see yourself as a slightly overweight drama queen who can’t balance a cheque book but does a mean macaroni cheese, your best friend may be able to translate this into, “voluptuous, sensitive earth mother and gourmet cook”.

The man who has recently been bankrupted by a divorce settlement and finds himself thrown back into the field with a ute, a dog, and a fold-out bed may become: “flexible, non-materialistic guy who enjoys sunsets, walks in the park and long drives”.

Now you’re thinking, right?

Things changed for unlucky-in-love Colin when he found his target market in 2003 flick Love Actually.