LIGHT ME UP

OUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS MIGHT BE HERE TO STAY, WHETHER THE NEIGHBOURHOOD LIKES IT OR NOT

Folks, last week, to our neighbours’ relief, I finally pulled down the two small strings of solar Christmas lights I’d strapped to our front fence. It took three minutes, because I don’t exactly go all Clark W. Griswold around here at Chrissy.

Although, I did channel my inner Griswold on December 1 while kicking the knotted ball of lights around the yard until they eventually untangled.

Still, it’s the lesser of my numerous suburban neighbourhood protocol crimes currently causing property values in our neck of the woods to fall faster than a stunned turtle dove.

But, seriously, why can’t I leave my Christmas lights up all year long? Those flashing little bulbs gave our joint a real touch of class after sunset.

According to my straight-talking mate, only bogans or rednecks think year-round Christmas light displays are a good idea. Well, it’s not like I had oversized, fluffy dice hanging off the fence alongside them! Actually, my dice are missing, and Long Suffering Wife has been suspiciously silent on their possible whereabouts.

Meanwhile, my English friend scolded me for de-decorating too early. According to Pommy tradition, it’s bad luck to stash away your Yuletide baubles any sooner than 12 days after Christmas. Nor should I have annoyed fate by putting them up before the 12 days leading up to Christmas.

Frankly, I don’t think fate, God, Buddha, George Lucas or whichever invisible deity is allegedly running our universe, will be taking time out from their busy schedule just to kick me around for ignoring Christmas light etiquette. Possibly.

Anyway, during my four minutes of intensive research into the topic, I stumbled across a site which contained the following advice: “Christmas lights can add some genuine sparkle to your next function. All you have to do is remove any overtly ‘Christmassy’ messages and let the twinkling lights do their thing”.

So instead of taking down my Christmas lights, then having conniptions untangling them again next year, it might be more festive to leave them up and throw a party every night until next December.

Boy, that’d light up the neighbourhood.