HAVE A LAUGH

Miraculous escape A mine in a small town collapses. One of the engineers who miraculously survives the disaster is in a local bar a week later.

The bar is empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar. “Hey bartender” says the engineer, “I’ll have a beer, and pour one for my friend down at the end there. If it weren’t for that guy, I wouldn’t be here. He was with me when the mine caved in last week. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head. If you don’t believe me, look at the top of his head and you’ll see that it’s flat from holding the roof up.”

The bartender is sceptical, but he serves the man his beer and then comes back to talk to the engineer.

“I saw the flat spot on his head,” the bartender says. “But I also couldn’t help noticing the bruising under his chin. What is that all about?” The engineer responds, “Oh, that’s where we put the jack.”

Lost wife

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” she asks. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”

Computer issues

I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her CD drive and pulling it out very quickly.

I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they

asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”

Change of mind

Little Emily was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her mind?”

Her mother asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one.”