HAVE A LAUGH

NEW ARK

One day God called to Noah and said, “Noah, you need to build another Ark”.

Noah listened obediently. “But this time, Noah, I don’t just want a couple of decks. I want 20 decks, one on top of the other”.

“20 DECKS?” cried Noah, “Well, okay... but should I fill it up with pairs of animals again?”

“Well, sort of. This time I want you to fill it up with fish,” God replied.

“Fish?”

“Yes, fish. In fact, I specifically want carp. Just carp.”

Noah studied the landscape around him. “Okay God, let me get this right, you want another Ark?”

“Right.”

“With 20 decks.” “Right.”

“And you want it full of carp?”.

“Right.” “But why?” asked Noah in confusion.

“Well, what I’m after .... ” replied God, “is a Multi-Storey carp Ark.”

HELPING HAND

THE worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

“How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?”.

“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight.”

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. “Oh, darling,” she said, “sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I’ll do everything. In fact, I’ll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“George?” said the housewife. “Who’s George?”

“Why, George! Your husband!”

”Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”

There was a short pause and the housewife said, “Does this mean you’re not coming over?”.