How hicks tap in to fancy plumbing
THERE’S nothing like tapware to remind you how long it’s been since you spent time in the big smoke.
When you stand at the basins in public toilets with a baffled expression on your face, you can almost imagine the sign “country hick” taped to your forehead.
Shopping centres, airports, sporting/cultural venues – all have some flash plumbing that can leave you stumped for a minute or two … or until someone else comes along for you to imitate in your quest for water, soap, hot air or paper towels.
Some contraptions are so flash you almost need an engineering degree just to wash your hands.
A friend said she had to master some speedy manoeuvres in the bathrooms at Carrara Stadium during the Commonwealth Games.
“I know they’re trying to conserve water but, by the time you pressed the button and got your hand under the spout, the water timer had switched off,” she said.
This meant users pressed the button at least three times (once to find out they needed to press twice more to wash both hands), which negated the efficiency of the timers.
Shopping centres are gaining in glamour and restrooms take on the appearance of boutiques.
Basins are no longer basins but shallow toughs. Taps are not taps but winged bars which dispense both water (from spout) and hot air (from the wings which flank the tap, provided you master the wave to make the contraption work).
Soap dispensers are automatic when you expect to press a button and manual when you expect to wave your mitts. And, just to vex users even more, some taps (and loos) come with press buttons on the floor.
The problem with fancy plumbing is that it often doesn’t come with instructions for us hillbillies: There’s no stickers with diagrams on how to use the snazzy gear, not even a post-it note on the mirrors.
I recall being in Brisbane International Airport behind a recent arrival who waved her hands futilely under the tap, only to find you had to press a button for H2O in this country.
Some are so flash you need an engineering degree to wash your hands.