Pillow talk not all fluffy tales

Wife gives hubby the sheets... to clean

AN UPDATE on last week’s Whispers story about a young Toowoomba couple who were forced to buy a new mattress recently.

Some would say logically, they decided to buy new sheets and a new quilt cover to go with the new mattress.

Wife handed Hubby the new items and asked him to give them a wash since he was on leave from work.

His face was priceless, as was his response: “Why do they need to be washed? They are brand new!”

So then came the lecture on fabric starch and other chemicals that are used, not to mention the plastic smell from the packaging.

Hubby realised it was easier to just say “Yes dear” and do as he was told.

Such is married life.

WRONG NUMBER

A NEW mobile phone is essential for Toowoomba chap horribly caught out by a call.

Having had trouble with his phone’s reception for some time, our man was receiving regular calls from the same number which he didn’t recognise.

Suspecting the caller to be an old foe with whom he had had many a run-in over the years, he went into a tirade of abuse when he saw the number flash up on his screen.

After about a 90-second lashing of verbal abuse down the line during which he called the caller a wide variety of derogatory terms, a woman’s voice came on the line.

It was his mother-in-law. “You really need to get another phone,” his wife’s mother said politely and with some sympathy.

ROYAL NUPTIALS

SAFE to say not all Darling Downs people are followers of Britain’s Royal Family.

Chap seated at the bar of his Ruthven St local overheard a couple of patrons discussing this weekend’s Royal Wedding.

He being at The Royal Hotel at the time, he took the conversation to be about someone getting hitched at the Ruthven St pub today.

“Who is getting married here?” he asked the fellow patrons who simply frowned in return.

CLOSE SHAVE

OUR emergency services personnel are certainly multiskilled — and used to being calm under pressure — according to a Whispers operative.

Our operative spotted an emergency services officer in a marked car stopped at traffic lights at an intersection in Toowoomba’s CBD.

Time is always of the essence to these officers and so, while waiting for the lights to change, he whipped out an electric portable razor for a quick shave before the light turned green.

Fortunately, he finished in time before the lights changed and set off in an appropriate way.

Could have been a little embarrassing explaining to an emergency services colleague what had transpired should he have had an accident while under the razor.

HEARD A WHISPER?

PLEASE keep those funny stories, embarrassing moments and quirky photos coming to col4@thechronicle.com.au