HAVE A LAUGH

TALENT SHOW

A man walked into a nightclub and told the management, “I’ve got a show you can’t refuse!”

“Okay, let’s have a look!” said the manager.

The man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a guinea pig. He put the guinea pig on the bar. It ran to the end of the bar, down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumped on the keyboard and started playing a variety of jazz, ballads and classical music.

The manager said, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That guinea pig is fantastic on the piano.”

The man reached into his coat again, and said, “We’re not finished yet.”

He pulled out a frog. He put the frog on the bar, and the frog started to sing. He sang beautifully, attracting the attention of a patron in the club.

The patron dashed over to the man and offered him $500 for the frog.

The guy said, “Sure!” He took the $500 and gave the frog to the patron, who ran out of the bar with it.

The manager said to the man, “Are you crazy? You sold a singing frog for $500? It’s worth millions!”

“Not really,” said the man. “The guinea pig is also a ventriloquist.”

MARRIAGE

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!

OVERWORKED

My friend asked me to help him with his crossword puzzle as he was struggling with 4 across.

“What’s the clue?” I asked. “Overworked postman,” he said.

“How many letters?” “Thousands!”