HAVE A LAUGH

The chicken

WHY did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your chequebook and eat your neighbour.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

Laundry day

MY wife found a $20 note in my pants pocket after she washed and dried them.

I had to turn her in to the authorities ....

For money laundering.