HAVE A LAUGH Collateral

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo.

“Leave some ID, a driver’s license or a credit card,” she said.

“But my husband is here getting a haircut,” I explained.

“Yes,” she replied. “But I need something you’ll come back for.”

Diagnosis

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to

introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked,

“How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming

at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping

uncontrollably the next?” A young man in the rear raised his hand

and suggested earnestly, “A high school teacher?”

Time separates

“Time separates the best of friends,” said one women to another.

“How true,” replied the other. “Twenty years ago we were fifteen, now you’re thirty-five and I’m twenty-nine!”

Be patient

A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!”

The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”

Mystery surprise

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to put it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.