HAVE A LAUGH

Surprise

A lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. She had no weapon and was all alone, and the only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture.

So she held up her hand and proclaimed: “ACTS 2:38!” The burglar shook in fear and then froze, giving the woman time to get to the phone and call 000.

When the police arrived, the burglar was still frozen in place.

Surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this, they asked the lady: “How did you do this?”

The woman replied: “I quoted scripture.”

The policeman turned the burglar: “What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?”

The burglar replied: “Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two 38’s.”

Test results

Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!” “That’s great sweetheart!” said her daddy.

“Come into the living room and tell me about it,” daddy continued.

Little Anne said, “Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science.”

Same person

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.

An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.

“Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked.

“No,” he replied. “I stepped on the same rake.”