The wide world of sport is not so wide after all

WHAT’S happening to the world of sport?

It’s like the old joke of the guy with a cold: “I’m all upside down. My nose is running and my feet are smelling”.

Sports these days are morphing into one another.

There’s brawling at the basketball with punches being thrown at random, yet none of that at the State of Origin where we used to expect it.

There’s more diving being done at the Football World Cup than the high board at the Olympic Games pool.

And, there’s more dodgy stuff going on in the once gentleman’s game of cricket than in the days when every Toowoomba pub had an SP bookie. As for the tennis!

The behaviour of tennis players these days makes John McEnroe look like Evonne Goolagong-Cawley.

What was Nick Kygrios thinking at Queens last week?

Some bloke in the crowd is sledging him so he thinks it’s okay to feign what I could only describe here as a selfserving sexual act at him — with a water bottle no less?

He wonders why he cops a fine. Mind you, a fine of $23,500 to a multi-millionaire is hardly going to burn a hole in his pocket which is probably why when asked about the fine he reportedly replied that he “didn’t care”.

I did think tournament supervisor Lars Graff did well with the charge sheet though.

One could hardly charge someone with “water-bottle abuse” so he settled for “inappropriate behaviour”.

However, even John McEnroe at his peak didn’t do that stuff.

And the women tennis players are no better it seems.

Now, I’m a big fan of Canadian Eugenie Bouchard.

Don’t mind her tennis as well. Like most young people these days, especially sportspeople, Bouchard took to social media to explain why it had taken her, a former World No. 5, three sets to dispatch with British wildcard Gabriella Taylor, to whom she lost the second set 4-6.

“One of the ballboys on my court today had his fly unzipped. Every time he gave me balls to serve I couldn’t help staring at it,” she tweeted.

What the? Like, the ballboy was about 14.

I can only imagine her reaction when the umpire called to the ballboys to distribute “New balls please!”

Back at the World Cup which has become a dive-a-thon with the gold medal already awarded to Brazilian star Neymar.

Fair dinkum! He spends more time on the grass than the grounds keeper.

Now, Brazilian footballers have a tendency to rename themselves with just one name.

For instance, the world’s greatest player Pele was actually christened Edson Arantes do Nascimento.

No doubt match commentators were pleased he settled on “Pele”.

Another Brazilian great, Sócrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira, settled for simply “Sócrates”, a philosophical choice which, again, I’m sure commentators were forever grateful.

As for Neymar, full name Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior, after his diving exploits at the World Cup in Russia, I reckon he should have settled for the name Greg Louganis.

However, I thought the classiest act involving the World Cup came from outside of Russia.

Scotland hasn’t played in the World Cup since 1998.

In what could only be described as a William Wallace inspired moment, Scottish MPs in the British Parliament forced a series of obscure and inconveniently-timed votes on what would normally be considered straight-forward motions, right as the match between England and Columbia was about to start.

Thereby the English MPs were deprived a sporting chance of watching their national team win a knock-out World Cup match.

That was the biggest hit of the week in world sport.