HAVE A LAUGH Poor choice

Three women, a brunette, a redhead and a blonde, were about to be executed.

The guards brought the brunette forward, and the executioner began the countdown, ”Ready, Aim!”

Suddenly the brunette shouted, “Earthquake!!” Everyone was startled, and in the confusion the brunette managed to escape.

The angry guards then brought the redhead forward, and the executioner began the countdown again, “Ready, Aim!” and the redhead screamed, “Tornado!”

Yet again, everyone dashes around madly for a moment, allowing the redhead to escape.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did, and decided on a suitably startling warning of danger.

The guards brought her forward, and the executioner began again with, “Ready, Aim!” And the blonde shouted, “Fire!”

Chair philosophy

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.

Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.

One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

New device

John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now?

John: Yup. Cost me three thousand dollars, but it’s the very best. Mary: What kind is it?

John: Twelve-thirty.