‘He said I was dead’

Woman reveals her story after violent relationship

A TOOWOOMBA woman has revealed what domestic violence survivors face on a daily basis when in a volatile relationship.

She is speaking out in the hopes that other women will draw strength from her own painful experience after facing her alleged abuser in court.

“He told me if I rang the police I was dead, he said he’d kill me,” she said.

FLEEING her home city in the wake of ongoing domestic violence was the harsh reality one Toowoomba woman recently faced.

She cannot be named for legal reasons, but she shared her story with The Chronicle in the hope that survivors may draw strength from her own experience.

For the protection of her identity, we will refer to her as Mary.

She, like many women, took time before gaining the courage to report her alleged abuser to the police.

The man fronted court, but that was not the end of her ordeal.

The stress of the brief mention forced her to faint during the proceeding in the Toowoomba Courthouse.

“Us women are stuck when we get out (of abusive relationships) because we hit a brick wall,” Mary said.

“We are left with what we feel in out hearts and emotions, we’re an empty shell and we are broken.”

Things came to a head when Mary claims she was “brutally bashed” after ongoing emotional and verbal abuse.

She says she feared for her life when she fled.

‘‘ HE TOLD ME IF I RANG THE POLICE I WAS DEAD, HE SAID HE’D KILL ME. MARY

“He told me if I rang the police I was dead, he said he’d kill me,” Mary said.

“The whole period of time you keep quiet, you don’t want the neighbours to hear, you don’t want people to see the bruises and you get counselling but it doesn’t seem to work with DV.”

Some of the most vulnerable when it comes to escaping volatile relationships are those going through rehab, Mary claims.

She said taking on the massive task of getting clean can leave women open to falling back into old habits when the stress of violence enters their lives.

“The mental and physical abuse we go through is so horrific that most people turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with it,” she said.

“There’re a lot of women out there who don’t even realise that they are in a domestic violence situation and I am going to make sure that every one of them is heard.

“You can come out on top, it is a black hole and we’re all so broken but you can come out on the other side of it.”