People say the funniest things when court out

THE report this week of a young woman doing a runner from a courthouse while handcuffed brought back memories of a similar event here in Toowoomba some years ago.

It was in the days before the new Hume St police station was built and prisoners had to be escorted from the courthouse back across to the Neil St watch house at the rear of the then police station.

Two prisoners had been handcuffed together as they were led from the courthouse after appearing before the magistrate.

When they reached the foot of the stairs, the police officer turned to lock the door behind him when he heard a loud call of “Run!”

He turned to see these two blokes handcuffed to each other running across the Hume St traffic.

The officer gave chase but he needn’t have bothered as the pair of would-be fugitives ran either side of a power pole on the other side of Hume St and ended up in a crumpled heap on the footpath at the foot of the pole.

They were marched back into court, one of them with an obviously broken wrist which was swollen up like a football.

“Did you hurt yourself,” the lady magistrate asked them.

“Nah, was more funny than anything,” one of the injured prisoners replied.

“It won’t be funny when I sentence you to extra time in jail for escaping lawful custody,” the magistrate offered.

Of course they weren’t the only ones to leave the courtroom disgruntled after having a bail application refused.

Another guy was brought up from the watch house having put on a turn the previous time he appeared before the same gentleman magistrate.

He was extremely apologetic and assured the magistrate that he was now on his medication and that he wouldn’t yell obscenities at him this time.

“I’m really sorry for my outburst and behaviour last time, Your Honour,” he told the magistrate.

“As you can see, I’m a lot calmer this time.”

The magistrate reminded him that the charges he was facing were very serious and again refused bail and remanded him in custody.

Upon hearing that, the bloke went off !

“You scum bag *&#@* he yelled followed by a tirade of obscenities which he continued all the way down the lift to the watch house.

Apparently, the medication wasn’t as effective as he had thought.

Another bloke did himself no favours when applying for bail before a now retired magistrate who adjourned the matter to consider it further over lunch.

From the press table across the room, I couldn’t hear what the prisoner mumbled in the dock, but as he was being led out of court he said something that was picked up by the magistrate.

“What did you say to me?” the magistrate asked.

The prisoner quite arrogantly from the dock replied: “I called you a **** #$%**&, what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing,” replied the magistrate, “But you’ve got to come back before me this afternoon for your bail application.”

He didn’t get bail.

Another guy in the dock who was handed a stiff penalty by the magistrate also had a less than favourable response to the decision.

However, it provided his solicitor with the opportunity of a “good save”.

The prisoner had expected to get off with a fine or fully suspended sentence but instead was handed some jail time which he didn’t take well at all.

“F*** me dead!” the handcuffed prisoner screamed from the dock.

The magistrate, a little startled though it certainly wasn’t the first time he had heard such reactions from the dock, peered over his glasses at the defence solicitor at the bar table.

“Mr ‘Solicitor’, did your client say something to me?” he asked.

“No, Your Honour,” the solicitor sighed, “He was just expressing a particularly nasty way to die!”