DEAD-SET, I’M AWAKE

THERE’S NO POINT IN BEING GRIM ABOUT THE REAPER – BEST TO GET ON WITH THINGS IN YOUR SHORT VISIT HERE

Folks, roughly 150,000 people die in Australia every year. So today, 410 Aussies will wake up for the very last time.

Unless, of course, they’re among the number of early adopters who didn’t wake up at all today.

For those of you still with us, for the time being, you’re probably wondering what put me is such a cheerful frame of mind?

Well, in spite of spending too much time poring through grim ABS statistics, I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic about my chances of living to see today’s sunset.

In fact, I’ve just booked this year’s holiday and tweaked my retirement plan (basically, I’ve just accepted the fact I’ll be working up to the day I die, regardless of how old I am).

Anyway, if the stats are to be believed, the leading cause of death in Oz is heart disease, followed by dementia. For women dementia is the leading cause of death. Which could explain why Long Suffering Wife doesn’t recognise me or remember my name when we’re out in public.

Plus, my mother, who has reached an age where bouts of forgetfulness have stopped being a source of fun, announced recently that she thinks she is getting dementia.

The fact she mentioned it several times in less than an hour added weight to her case.

It was with some interest I noted that seven Australians will meet their maker as the result of an accidental fall.

As someone who frequently experiences the thrill of watching the floor race towards his face, I sincerely want to know what sort of falls I should be worried about.

I regularly dice with death in my own house. Why people choose to leave my thongs, shoes and workbag around the place for me to stumble over is a complete mystery.

Plus there’s a dog who spends a lot of time under my feet vacuuming up the rich source of food crumbs dropping off my clothes.

I can think of better ways to go, but I won’t spend any more time contemplating my final trip into eternity.

Life’s far too short for that. Find Greg Bray at gregbraywriter.word press.com or Facebook: Greg Bray – Writer