HAVE A LAUGH

DAD’S JOB

“WHAT’S your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

“He’s a magician, ma’am” said Little Johnny.

“How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?”

“He saws people in half.” “Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?” “One half brother and two half sisters.”

MOTHER’S LOVE

SUMMER vacation was over and young Jack returned to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.

“Wait a minute,” mother said. “I had Jack with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

RIGHT ETIQUETTE

“LOOK, Charlie,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.” “Yes sir, I understand.” “Good, Charlie. Now, would you explain that to your father?”

RIGHT HAND

I WENT to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.

“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked. “I can’t understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”

CHEER SQUAD

I CAME home from work this evening and said to my wife, “Are we having salad for dinner?”

“Yes we are, how did you know?” she asked.

I replied, “Because I can’t hear the smoke alarm.”