No alarm for absent partner

The baffling case of the missing wife

HUBBY is in the dog-house at the moment after “losing” his wife for a couple of days.

Good wife had been feeling ill and so eventually went off to see her doctor who put her straight into hospital.

The woman’s daughter tried a number of times to ring her mother’s husband but he had inadvertently left the phone slightly off the hook and no calls were getting through.

To his credit, he hadn’t forgotten his wife and had wandered the house wondering where she could be — for two days — before word reached him that she was in hospital.

During this time his wife, a fiery redhead, was wondering why her husband hadn’t bothered to visit her.

The couple was eventually reunited at the hospital, but our man wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms.

UNWELCOME CHANGE

CHAP who hates carrying excess coins in his pockets had selected a few items from his chosen Toowoomba supermarket this week and headed to the check-out.

He was elated when he realised he had the correct cash in notes and coins to cover the cost which he handed over to the check-out teenager.

However, with no bag in which to carry his goods home, the teenager advised that he could buy a biodegradable plastic bag for 10c.

Searching his pockets, all he had was a lone 5c coin but the checkout lad was offering no discount.

So, our man was left to hand over a $20 note and in return was handed a pocket full of change.

HENRY THE ATE

NORTH Toowoomba lass so enjoys digging into a hearty meal that friends joke that she must have a tapeworm.

Her friends have even named the tapeworm “Henry” which is often referred to when the group is out to dinner.

Three of them ventured out to a Drayton restaurant during the week and as they waited at the booking table to be seated, our lass peered over into the reservations book to see one table under the name “Henry”.

Excitedly, she turned to point this out to her friends only to find them already giggling. The table had indeed been booked under the tapeworm’s name.

SNAKES AND LADDER

CITY barman who has the extra chore of placing his and his sister’s footy tips in each week for the pub’s tipping competition thought he’d scored six out of eight and his sister just three out of eight last weekend.

However, returning to the pub on Monday, he checked the tipping entries to find he had inadvertently switched his tips with his sister’s and he was left with just three winners, dropping him down the ladder to 5th.

He explained the honest mistake to his boss and the competition co-ordinator who both accepted his explanation and awarded him the six winners and his sister, three.

No-one else in the pub’s tipping comp knew about this slight of hand... until made public here, that is!

Whispers awaits the outcry from other tipsters.

OUT OF ORDER

CHAP who works in the Toowoomba hospitality industry is a creature of habit.

On his days off on Wednesday and Thursday, he does exactly the same thing.

He heads to his chosen pub for lunch where he orders a 200g rump, medium rare, two fried eggs, fried tomato, mushroom sauce and six chips (precisely six chips).

It’s called “The Plonker”. However, pub staff were thrown into chaos on Wednesday when he ordered a steak sandwich, which comes with chips, and he insisted that there be just six chips.

Outside in the smoking area while he waited for his meal, he suddenly realised he wouldn’t mind an egg on his steak sandwich and headed for the kitchen.

However, so well do staff know this creature of habit that the chef met him at the door and asked: “Do you want an egg on your steak sandwich?”