SORRY NOT SORRY
APOLOGIES ARE ALL THE RAGE, BUT THE SORRY TRUTH IS THAT MOST ARE NOT SORRY IN THE SLIGHTEST
Before we begin, Informer should apologise. I’m not sure why, but undoubtedly there’s something I did or I’m doing or I’m about to do that warrants saying sorry for whatever it was, is or might be.
There’s an old song that speaks to the difficulties some find in owning up to life’s mishaps and missteps. The chorus sulks “It’s hard for me to say I’m sorry”, which is a kind of non-apology apology. Still, at least it’s made and the guitar solo’s nothing to be sorry about. Another old song bemoans “sorry seems to be the hardest word”.
How naive that appears in the context of today, what with sorry being the new black. Everywhere people are sorry about this and sorry about that.
Though unapologetically insincere, such apologies prevail. How many phone calls, emails, texts and conversations do you make, take, send or receive each week that either begin with “Sorry” or contain a “sorry” along the way?
Informer received an email the other day that said: “Dear Informer, sorry to bother you, the suit you ordered has arrived.” What an odd thing to be sorry for. Surely this was good news. A transaction between a customer and a purveyor of goods had reached its successful fruition. I was expecting them to get in touch and yet they were sorry for doing so. Why?
Contrition is an important part of the human condition and it dates to prehistoric times. While language was rudimentary at best back then, you can’t tell me that clubbing a prospective life partner over the noggin when she wasn’t looking didn’t warrant a grunted apology around the cave fire come nightfall. As much as we have advanced in the ensuing passage of time, the act of offering a sincere apology never gets any easier.
Perhaps that’s because we know it should be the first thing we do, yet too often is our last resort. Then, when we do apologise for real, it’s difficult not to feel sorry for ourselves as we cut sorry figures before dragging our sorry arses away.
Nevertheless, there is something meaningful and cleansing about a sincerely made apology. For example, I support National Sorry Day. I believed when PM Kevin Rudd made the National Apology to the Stolen Generation. I believed when a clearly contrite Steve Smith apologised for the ball-tampering affair, and when Andrew Gaff apologised for belting Andrew Brayshaw on the footy field.
Trouble is, our ability to recognise and embrace sincere apologies is increasingly threatened thanks to today’s plethora of vacuous ones. The nature of our idiotic age is making it harder to move, think, speak, hear or do anything without someone crying foul, demanding an apology and then receiving one. Generally for no good or sensible reason.
The upshot is what’s happening now, namely a deferring to the twits and twats via a collective submission that finds us saying sorry before we say anything else. Sorry, but it’s true. Ironically, it turns out that it isn’t better to be safe than sorry; it’s merely expedient. That’s why I reckon we should stop saying sorry except for when we really need to, really mean it, and before we devalue the word and the act completely.
“OUR ABILITY TO RECOGNISE AND EMBRACE SINCERE APOLOGIES IS INCREASINGLY THREATENED ...”