HAVE A LAUGH

HEARTBREAK

A 90-YEAR-OLD man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what’s wrong.

Through his tears the old man answers, “I’m just so in love with my 25-year-old wife.

“What’s wrong with that?” asks the young man.

Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers: “You can’t understand. Every morning before she goes to work, she cooks me breakfast and kisses me and tells me she loves me.

“At lunchtime she comes home and embraces me warmly, and then she makes my favourite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home with ice cream, the best an old man could want. And then after a gourmet supper, she gives me a warm bath, and cuddles up with me all night.”

He breaks down, no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around him.

“Oh, I think I see - I bet you just found out she’s with you for your money?”

“No,” the old man answers through his sobbing and tears, “I forgot where I live.”

STRANGE PROBLEM

A YOUNG man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day.

“Doc, there’s something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby’s high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that’s wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe. Can you tell me what the problem is?”

“Sure,” the doctor said. “You have way too much time on your hands.”