Insatiable’s problems go beyond fat-shaming

IS INSATIABLE offensive? Hell yes. But not in the way you think.

When Netflix dropped the trailer for its new soapy dramedy, howls of outrage followed. Contained within its two-minutes were scenes of a fat girl turned skinny out for revenge. It was fat-shaming.

But that’s not Insatiable’s problem, at least it’s not its main problem.

Insatiable is insufferable – bad TV, on any scale, by any measure. The wannabe-Heathers is boring-as-hell, its characters barely rise above caricature, its storyline, such as it is, meanders about with no purpose and it’s tonally all over the place.

In other words, it’s a hot mess. The kind of hot mess you want to banish into the ether, never to be chanced upon by any human eyes ever again.

Patty (former Disney channel star Debby Ryan) has been called “Fatty Patty” her whole life, teased and bullied by her classmates. She and friend Nonnie (Kimmy Shields) stay at home and binge on Drew Barrymore movies and junk food.

After a freak accident wired her jaw shut for three months, she becomes thin and beautiful. She then swears she wants revenge for all of her suffering.

Elsewhere, Bob (Dallas Roberts) is a lawyer with a passion for beauty pageant coaching. When a client of his derails his pageant career, he sees in Patty a chance for redemption.

Bob needs Patty and Patty needs Bob. Suppressing her desire for a more biblical form of vengeance, Patty comes to believe that if she wins a beauty pageant and shows everyone how “beautiful” she really is, then that’s her revenge. OK, then.

Around Patty and Bob are supporting characters including Bob’s wife Coralee (Alyssa Milano), the always shirtless rival other Bob (Christopher Gorham), Patty’s alcoholic mum Angie (Sarah Colonna), sociopathic pageant rival Dixie (Irene Choi), popular girl Magnolia (Erinn Westbrook) and the pastor’s bad boy son Christian (James Lastovic).

Here’s the thing: You will not care about any of these characters (except for maybe Nonnie, whose coming-out story is so awkwardly handled). They are all horrible people who didn’t even have the decency to be deliciously entertaining. How do you root for people like this?

I watched six out of the 12 50-minute episodes out of professional obligation. If I were watching this for myself, I wouldn’t have made it past the first episode.

Insatiable is available to stream on Netflix now.