HAVE A LAUGH

HOT STUFF

MISS Beatrice is sitting outside her home with an old friend having a smoke when it starts to rain.

One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.

Miss Beatrice asks her friend what this strange device is.

“A condom,” her friend replies. “This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.”

“Where did you get it?” Miss Beatrice asks.

“You can get them at the chemist,” her friend said.

The next day, Miss Beatrice hobbles into the chemist and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80), but asks what brand she prefers.

“Doesn’t matter sonny,” she says, “As long as it fits on a Camel.”

The pharmacist fainted.

HOTEL MANAGER

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go to their room to rest.

She lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. “Look... lie here on the bed -- you’ll be thrown right to the floor!” So he lies down next to the wife.

Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “are you doing here?”

The manager calmly replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”