First vow not to be broken

Couples can avoid a lingering wedding day hangover by setting a strict budget

WEDDING number three was done and dusted for the Koch family after our son married his Mexican fiancé last weekend.

Another Mexican wedding will happen next year, appropriately, if you know them both, in the town of Tequila.

We love weddings. There is so much love, joy and fun. But most weddings place a huge amount of financial pressure on the couple, and often their family, which isn’t surprising given the average wedding costs over $40,000.

Don’t get us wrong, we know it’s important to make your wedding a once-in-a-lifetime special event, but you don’t want it becoming a bone of contention between you and your new dearly beloved.

Sure, you want everything to run smoothly and be perfect for your big day, but there are ways of reducing the cost and easing the financial pain.

We also have two married daughters, so we know as well as anyone just how easily spending can get out of hand.

Our number one tip is to tell as few suppliers as possible that it’s a wedding. We get furious when cake and car hire prices go up simply because you mention the magic word “wedding”. It means “sucker” to some suppliers and makes our blood boil.

Another great idea comes from a mate of ours who worked out a wedding budget with his daughter and fiancé and then put the amount in a wedding bank account with the proviso that what they didn’t spend they could keep. It was amazing how well they budgeted and what a nice little windfall they had to start their marriage.

Here are some of our other tips to reduce the stress on your hip pocket.

SET A BUDGET

Sit down with your partner and talk about how much you can afford to spend on the wedding, then create a budget.

A general rule of thumb is to allocate 75 per cent of your budget to the reception. Then split the rest evenly between music, photography, flowers, the bride’s dress and extras like invitations and the groom’s suit.

If you value some things more than others, choose to cut back in one area and spend more on another.

TRIM THE GUEST LIST

Now, we know this is easier said than done, especially if you have a large family or circle of friends, but you’d be surprised how quickly a few extra people can bump up the cost.

So, if you have 150 or 200 people on your current list, sit down with your other half and work out who are your closest friends and family members.

Set a few rules such as you have had to see everyone on the list within the last year.

If you are holding the wedding in a large church or park, you could invite all guests to the ceremony followed by a simple afternoon tea where you may even cut the cake. Then ask your select list of people to the full-blown reception.

Our latest wedding started out as a small gathering for 60 and ended up at 120. We asked the happy couple whether they’d be happy to spend $300 on a friend and their partner if it wasn’t a wedding. It proved to be a handy filter.

CHOOSE RECEPTION VENUE WISELY

Another area that you can dramatically cut costs is the wedding reception venue. It is your single biggest wedding expense, so shop around for a venue and get a number of quotes. Then compare quotes and even use them to haggle down the price.

It is also worth asking the venue whether they have cheaper rates for certain days and times of the week or during off-peak periods. For instance, look at having a lunchtime reception on a Friday, or on a Sunday night. Many reception venues also offer big discounts for weddings in winter months.

Cut down the per head costs by holding a cocktail reception and only serve finger food or offer two courses, instead of three, and cut up the wedding cake as dessert. Also pick a reception venue which allows you to bring your own alcohol rather than select a pricey beverage package.

This time around we had the wedding at home with a celebrant, stand-up cocktail food provided by a local caterer and we bought the wines and sparkling online using nakedwines.com.au. We bought the beer in bulk from a discount liquor chain. When I took the empty bottles to the recycling centre the next day I was greeted with “s--- , Kochie, that’s one helluva party ... 140kg” by the guy on the weighbridge. It worked so well and we saved an enormous amount of money.

BUY A PRE-LOVED DRESS

You can get wedding gowns for less than half price if you buy second-hand.

The dress has only been worn once and then expertly cleaned by a specialist dry cleaner. Nobody would ever know.

Many designers, discount bridal shops and websites such as idogowns.com.au, smartbride.com.au and brideonline. com.au offer great comparative information on pre-loved and new gowns.

CUT BACK ON EXTRAS

All the little extras add up. You can cut back by borrowing nice “wedding” cars from friends, printing your own invitations or asking a talented friend to take your photos. Flowers are another big expense. Our eldest daughter saved by asking the church ladies to do the flowers for her ceremony and choosing candles for her reception table centrepieces rather than expensive floral arrangements.