HAVE A LAUGH

MAGIC MOMENTS

A MAN finds a lamp.

He rubs it and a Genie emerges.

The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes.

The man thinks for a moment and says, “First, give me a bottomless mug of beer.”

A mug of beer appears in his hand.

He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled.

The man is thrilled and continues to drink.

The mug never empties. Then the Genie says, “And what about your other two wishes?”

The guy thinks for a moment and says, “Give me two more just like this one!”

CHILD’S PLAY

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into heaven?”

The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, “For heaven’s sake Dylan, either come in or stay out!”

MARRIAGE WOES

An older couple was asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed.

The clerk apologised and said that the only rooms available had twin beds.

Disappointed, the man remarked, “I don’t know. We’ve been sharing the same bed for 44 years.”

“Could you possibly put them close together?” the wife asked.

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, “How romantic.”

Then the woman finished her request with, “Because if he snores, I want him close enough to be able to elbow him.”