HAVE A LAUGH

GOLDEN YEARS

THEY weren’t in my pockets.

Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car.

Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen.

As I looked around the parking lot, I realised he was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then, I made the most difficult call of all... to my husband.

“I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen,” I cried.

There was a moment of silence.

I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice.

“Are you kidding me?” he barked.

“I dropped you off!” Now it was my turn to be silent.

Embarrassed, I said quietly, “Well, come and get me.”

He retorted, “I will; just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your damn car!”

BABY TALK

A child asked his father, “How were people born?”

So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”

The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!”

His father replied, “No, your mum was talking about her side of the family.”

PAST TIMES

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.