DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – A CONCEALED EVIL

Statistically, we all know someone who is, or has been, in a relationship involving domestic violence.

Domestic violence can involve physical and/or sexual violence. It can also include emotional or psychological violence such as repeated derogatory taunts which cause the person to feel worthless.

It can involve isolating a person from their family and friends and religious beliefs. Financial abuse can take the form of controlling how much money is spent and criticising each purchase (such as not buying the bread that was on sale).

Regular monitoring, such as tracking devices on cars, or apps on mobile phones (to see every call and message received) is becoming more prevalent.

Often people say “Why don’t they just leave?” If only it were that simple. Sometimes it feels too dangerous to leave, as threats have been made to harm or even kill that person, children or family.

When there is long–standing abuse sometimes the person becomes conditioned to believe that they will have nowhere to go, particularly if they have been isolated from their family and friends or have no funds of their own.

As family lawyers, there are occasions when we have to tell a client that they are or have been in a relationship involving domestic violence. When someone escapes the control of an abusive spouse via separation, the abuser typically looks for other ways to control their ex-spouse. This can take the form of being obstructive in parenting and property negotiations to make the other person give up because it is too difficult or expensive to continue the process.

If you know someone in a domestic violence relationship, listen without judgement and let your friend know he or she does have rights/options. An experienced family lawyer can guide a victim through what is often a very tumultuous period.

DVConnect provides support to those experiencing domestic violence and for those who know of someone who may be experiencing violence by a partner.