OFF THE BOIL

THERE WAS NO WATER OR CROP GROWTH SEEN ON AN INLAND TRIP, AND EVEN FEWER SIGNS OF POLITICAL LIFE IN CANBERRA

Folks, this week I drove to Canberra and, even though I was looking out for it, I didn’t see the bubble everyone keeps talking about.

Maybe it was down for maintenance? Now, I’ve wanted to see Canberra for years. Not that I’m a political tragic, but I do take a bit of an interest in the game; if you could call screaming at the news each night a hobby.

Anyway, finding myself with some free time on my mitts, I decided it was time to fuel up the family chariot and go on a road trip. I asked Long Suffering Wife if she’d like to spend a week or more cooped up in a car with me but I didn’t quite catch her response as she bolted from the room.

As it turned out, she wasn’t packing her suitcase behind the locked bedroom door.

So, I hit the road alone and headed west, then south. I’ve never travelled the inland route before and, I’m no farmer, but it seems the only crop being grown behind the great divide is stubble, and the few sheep and cattle I saw appeared to be eating dirt.

Heaven knows where the native wildlife are finding something to drink, because I only crossed three rivers that had a trickle of water in them and the rest were drier than a Methodist’s picnic.

It was distressing enough driving through the place, I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be to live out there.

When I eventually drifted into Canberra, trailing a long cloud of dust behind me, news broke that yet another high-profile federal minister was bailing out and hastily stuffing his suitcase with parliamentary tea towels, along with anything else not nailed down, and hightailing it for greener pastures.

Meanwhile the other pollies were being paid to hide at home until the election so parliament was emptier than a bank CEO’s heart.

I’d have preferred them to show up and do some work, but if this trip has taught me anything, the last thing this country needs is more hot air bubbling out of Canberra.