Beware the Potato Fairy

The mystery of the lumpy pillows

TWO middle-aged Toowoomba men share a Newtown home, the owner of which has a well-known love of potatoes.

The chap has been known to polish off a bag of potatoes each week be they mashed, baked or fried chips, and always has a plentiful supply on hand.

However, his housemate thought things were perhaps getting a bit out of hand when he retired for the night this week and went to bed only to find his pillow slips filled with potatoes.

The home owner thought his house-mate was going mad when he was asked if he’d put potatoes in his mate’s pillow slips.

Suspicion then fell on their carpet layer mate who frequents the house but he was indignant when it was suggested to him that he was the potato fairy.

As Whispers goes to print, the household was none the wiser as to how the potatoes have been appearing in pillow slips, underwear drawers and work clothes.

Although, and here is a Whispers exclusive, a couple of mates who did some plumbing at the residence recently have been seen laughing quietly in the background at group gatherings.

GAME, SET, MATCH

GROUP of 50-something Toowoomba chaps were enjoying their weekend afternoon catch-up at their preferred local and discussing temperamental Aussie tennis star Nick Kyrgios’s breakthrough ATP win at the Mexico Open last weekend.

Naturally, some of the group weren’t fussed on the Aussie star who has tended to make few friends with his onfield behaviour over the years.

“Why can’t we have more tennis players like Roger Federer?” one asked.

“He’s a credit to the game and to himself.”

Others mentioned Rafael Nadal and champions of days gone by like Pete Sampras.

However, one rogue who likes to string his unsuspecting mates along, chimed in with another suggestion.

“Yeah, but what about that Aussie tennis player years ago who made it into the World Top 10 and he had to play with a colostomy bag?” he said, keeping a straight face.

“Really?” one of the others replied, “Who was that?”

“Mark Full-a-poo-poos!” our man replied.

Whispers hears he was banished from the shout.

SHE’S BIN WEARY

AFTER a 12-day straight shift, reporter at a particular Toowoomba-based media outlet was feeling the pinch.

Wearily, she covered the early morning police rounds, calling the various police stations to find out the latest goings on in that particulars area.

“Well, there was a wheel bin fire,” one officer replied, sifting through the overnight cop jobs.

“Oh really,” the lass replied with a yawn, “was it a wheel big fire?”

Whispers hears the silence at the other end of the phone was deafening.

Well, we said she was tired.

BEST FOOT FORWARD

NOTE to those blokes looking to impress lady staffers at work, keep your feet. Whispers hears of a chap

somewhat besotted by new staffer at the company’s inner-city Toowoomba office.

Wanting to make a good impression, our man put on the charm as the lass walked into the office and put on a suave tone as he addressed another staffer in front of her.

It’s not known how well he faired after he went to walk away only to step into a waste paper basket, sending the contents across the floor in front of the young lass.

AN APPLE A DAY . . .

NORTH Toowoomba lass has embarked on a weight loss program of some strict proportions.

Being a stickler for diet instructions, she looks forward to her designated morning and afternoon snacks to get her between meals.

She was so looking forward to her snack of a red apple which at the designated time she went to retrieve from the fridge, figuring an apple a day keeps malnutrition at bay.

Unfortunately, the apple had been placed in such a position that when she retrieved it the fruit was frozen solid, a fact confirmed when she tried to bite into it.

She tells Whispers she starved through to dinner at

which time she resisted the temptation to have two meals to make up for the lack of afternoon tea.

WORTH THE WEIGHT?

FURTHER to matters diet, Toowoomba chap has sworn off them for good.

He tells Whispers he put in the hard yards, went without his after-work beer, pies, hot chips and toasted sangers for a month.

He got stuck into the weights and bench exercises each night at home.

The result? After a month of blood, sweat and tears, he found he’d put 1kg on.