HAVE A LAUGH

TRICKY GRANNY

A YOUNG man was shopping in a supermarket when he noticed a little old lady following him around.

If he stopped, she stopped. She kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease.”

“It’s just that you look so much like my late son.” He answered, “That’s okay.” “I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out ‘Goodbye mum’ as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.”

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, “Goodbye, mum.”

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone’s day he went to pay for his groceries.

“That comes to $121.85,” said the checkout girl.

The shocked gent replied, “How come so much? I only bought five items.”

The checkout girl replied, “Yeah, but your mother said you’d be paying for her things, too.”

NEW GLASSES

An old snake goes to see his optometrist.

“I need something for my eyes,” he hisses.

“I can’t see very well these days.”

The optometrist fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to come back in two weeks to see how they went.

A fortnight passes and the snake returns and says he’s been very depressed.

“What’s the problem?” asks the optometrist.

“The glasses are fine,” the snake replies.

“But I just discovered I’ve been living with a water hose for two years!”

DON’T QUOTE ME

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils confused him... 2B or not 2B.