Beauty in eye of beer-holder

Bartender waters down man’s pick-up

CHAP drinking and socialising at an inner-city Toowoomba hotel last Saturday night was putting the good words to a young woman at the bar.

As the night progressed, the lass bought a round of drinks for the pair but the bar attendant advised that while the lass could have the drink of her choice, her friend would have to have a glass of water as he was appearing a little under the weather.

Indignant at being told he had to have a glass of water, the chap protested that he wasn’t as drunk as he appeared.

Sanity prevailed, however, when the woman who was the subject of his desire suggested that he in fact drink the glass of water.

“How do you know I’m as attractive as you think I am at the moment,” was how she put it.

He drank the water.

BEST FOOT FORWARD

A COUPLE of inner-city office workers were outside having a chat in the mid-afternoon sun when another staff member was on approach.

One staff member said, “Wow, I really like your shoes!”

It was then the approaching staffer looked down at her shoes and was left absolutely horrified - she was wearing different shoes.

So far into the day (it was about 1pm) and she had no idea.

She left the office very embarrassed but also glad she did not have a customer appointment to attend to.

SISTER’S SURPRISE

TOOWOOMBA office worker got a nice surprise when his sister from Melbourne turned up at Brewoomba for an unexpected visit.

He repaid the surprise later in the evening when he spilled his full beer onto and in her handbag.

It seems his early start at the beer festival may have somewhat impaired his coordination.

Younger sister was not impressed.

TAKING OFFENCE

LOCAL prosecutor showed zeal and dedication during a court moment which had his opposite defence lawyer rolling the eyes.

A defendant had admitted to a relatively innocuous incident so minor in the general court scheme of things that it prompted the sitting magistrate to ask what was the public interest in having the defendant charged at all.

“All offences are public interest,” the prosecutor submitted in reply.

AS LUCK HAS IT

LAD who proudly proclaims having Irish heritage seems to have a very discerning view of what is lucky, and what isn’t.

The common belief is bird poop falling on oneself is lucky, but our lad rejects that in its entirety.

Walking the CBD on his regular morning route, the lad very narrowly avoided being pooped on from a great height walking under a branch.

Stopping short, the aerial bomb landed on the ground and the lad, chuffed as avoiding the missile, continued on.

Bemoaning to his mate his unlucky run of late, his friend informed him that bird bombs were generally considered good luck.

Having invoked the Irish luck card, that only four-leaf clovers brought the blessings, the lad bought a Lotto ticket for that night thinking he’d cash in on the (irrational) potential of winning.

He lost.