Hot-head told to listen ear
Never trust a ‘mate’ with instructions
of single, middle aged men who have been mates for a long time struggle with all things 2019 but get to discuss their respective dealings with modern dilemmas at their weekly catchup at a preferred Toowoomba “local”.
One of their number came to their table this week complaining about losing yet another battle — with his shampoo bottle.
He had acquired the new brand of anti-dandruff shampoo at the supermarket, took it home and applied it to his thinning hairline only to find when he had exited the shower that his head was burning.
This was only exacerbated when he realised as part of his daily showering routine he applied the shampoo to other parts of his body, not least his lower regions which also in time became inflamed.
Some of what he assumed was “shampoo” had also leaked into his right ear which was now not only burning, but producing a ringing sound in his ear which made hearing more than a little difficult.
He arrived at the weekly catchup armed with some ear drops acquired at the pharmacy around the corner from the pub.
His eyesight not being what it once was, he (foolishly) asked a “mate” to read the instructions on the side of the little bottle and was told: “Tilt your head to the side and drop in six or seven drops... then keep your head tilted for one hour.”
“One hour?” our man screamed back, and as instructed placed the side of his head on the table, much to the confusion and amusement of other bar patrons.
After an appropriate time of giggling, his “mate” announced: “Oh, it actually says hold your head there for one minute... not one hour.”
Our man was heading home to take a closer look at the “shampoo” bottle and the instructions for using same.
Stay tuned for a Whispers update. The betting among his mates was that the shampoo is actually some type of pet forGROUP mula which would at least leave him with a shiny coat.
OMOJI ETIQUETTE
LIKE many retired citizens, a Glenvale chap has taken to surfing the net throughout the day and is slowly coming to terms with modern language and emojis.
However, Whispers reckons he may have a ways to go just yet.
When his brother-in-law sent out a family wide message that his wife’s father had passed away, he wasn’t sure if Glenvale man’s emoji of the “thumbs up” was quite the politically correct response in the circumstances.
BITTER PILL...
CHAP appearing before a Toowoomba court this week was left a little red faced as the facts of his case were read out before a packed courtroom.
The 47-year-old was on three relatively minor charges including one of “possessing a restricted drug”, that being a Viagra tablet for which the man did not have a prescription as is required.
“Asked by police why he had the Viagra tablet yet no prescription,” the prosecutor told the court, “The defendant replied that he had a date with a 23-year-old woman and that he might need assistance”.
Graciously accepting the fine, the chap made a hasty retreat from the courtroom.
DEDICATED WORKER
INNER-CITY Toowoomba worker knows only too well that sometimes there’s just not enough hours in a day to get through one’s work.
The lass had arranged a lunch but was merrily going about her busy day until hunger pains reminded her it was time to eat.
She jumped into her car and drove out of the business’s car park but to the amazement of colleagues standing outside she did a u-turn and drove back into the car park.
Asked what she was doing, she explained she was going back to get her property before heading home... the time was actually 4.30pm and she’d missed her lunch by some hours.
YOU SAID WHAT?
BLOKE dropped into a Toowoomba pub looking for a quiet drink after work only to be confronted by a bunch of 25 noisy 20-somethings on a pub crawl.
He walked past a mate who wears an earpiece and never appears to hear anything anyone says.
Our man simply remarked: “Wish I had your hearing at the moment”, as he walked past. Of course, his mate heard that!