HAVE A LAUGH

STRAIGHT FROM THE MOUTH OF THE PREACHER

A MINISTER had all of his remaining teeth pulled out. New dentures were being made.

The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. On the third Sunday, he preached one hour and 25 minutes.

Some in the congregation were concerned and asked him about this.

“Well,” he said. “The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures. I don’t know what happened, I just couldn’t stop!”

TIME TO GO

A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting. Suddenly, the mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, “It’s already 3pm! I’m about to miss my train!”

She begins to put her coat on in a hurry.

At this moment the son-in-law’s six-year-old daughter runs up to her and before her dad can do anything, she says, “Don’t hurry Granny, Daddy set the clock two hours ahead.”

CASHED UP PROPOSAL

The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. “Do you have a second mortgage on your home?”

“No,” I replied.

“Would you like to consolidate all your debts?”

“I really don’t have any,” I said.

“How about freeing up cash for home improvements?” he tried.

“I don’t need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash,” I parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, “Are you looking for a husband?”