Don’t miss the chance to talk
SOMETIMES finding a time to have meaningful discussions with your children can be challenging. So what happens when they strike up a conversation at the most inconvenient times such as bedtime, when you’re on the phone, or having a conversation with someone else.
There is a time and a place but as a parent you don’t want to miss those opportunities. So how do you create that moment where they want to share? And how do you deal with the big questions when you least expect them?
Here are some tips on how to deal with your kids when you don't want to.
Your child’s body language can give away a lot. They are often communicating with their bodies way before they speak, or interrupt you. Shrugged shoulders, a smile, tears – these are important to keep an eye on.
It's not always a stalling tactic
Families are very busy, so kids don’t have a lot of downtime. Bedtime is an intimate time and that’s when they may feel relaxed enough to talk about their day as opposed to straight after school when they just want to switch off.
Parents need to be reasonable. If you know your child takes longer to settle down, or if you know your child needs to download at the end of the day, start the bedtime routine earlier. Foster those intimate, safe environments where they can share their stories and concerns and know they have your attention and support.
Yearning to connect
Kids are going to strive for attention whether it is positive or negative – and if we, as parents, can turn that into a positive, it will benefit both child and parent. We need goodwill for our children to do the right thing and the more connection there is, the more likely they will do what is asked of them. Find common interests with your children and develop those so you have that connection.
Be a role model
Children learn about feelings and how to express them appropriately by watching others. Show your child how you’re feeling about different situations and how you deal with those feelings.
This is particularly important in those moments when you might not have the time or patience.
If your child wants to talk to you when you are on the phone or driving or with someone else, remember to take a moment and breathe. Try to remain calm and refrain from over-reacting, no matter how frustrating it can be. This is being a good role model and teaches them to do the same.