IT’S A DAY TO FORGET

ONE MUM EXPLAINS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T THROW YOUR CHILD A SECOND BIRTHDAY PARTY

I’m going to say something controversial: If your kid is turning two, they don’t need a party.

Before you @ me, let me explain. I’m not trying to be a killjoy, I’m just trying to take the pressure off parents who are already strapped for cash and time. We need to give ourselves – and our friends – a break.

There was a study that came out recently that estimated that in the first year of a baby’s life, close friends and family forked out on average $512. Per child!

Between gender reveals and baby showers and first birthdays, that’s a lot of money on someone not yet old enough to control their own piggy bank, let alone bank account.

In the six months of my son’s birth, about 15 friends or family members had babies. On top of all the costs my own kid brought, it was not a year that was kind to my finances.

I thought once all the kiddos made that first trip round the sun, things would ease up. But apparently not.

My son is now two and a half. We had a lovely first birthday party. No bells and whistles, just a nice backyard gathering complete with the three Bs: balloons, booze and baked goods.

My kid bum-shuffled his way through the first half of the party (he was not yet walking) staring bewildered into the eyes of people he barely recognised, fell asleep on the grass for half an hour and woke in time to take part in the most important first birthday tradition: the enthusiastic fisting of his own birthday cake.

He’ll never remember it, but I had a great day. Because let’s face it, the first birthday is all about the parents. It’s a chance to bring together the tribe of people who got you through the first 12 months and thank them for helping you not kill the baby.

First birthdays are absolutely worth celebrating.

Second birthdays are a waste of time and money. They are expensive, indulgent and unnecessary. There isn’t a kid alive who remembers their second birthday party. There isn’t a kid alive who even knows what a second birthday is enough to request a party. And yet, so far, I’ve been to six in about three months. In parks, in play centres, at people’s houses.

And the truth is, I love each parent who invited me. I love their kids. I love celebrating their lives and I feel horrible for whingeing – publicly!

I just hate the idea that we’re feeling pressured to make second birthdays a ‘thing’.

I know for many parents it’s a chance to socialise. And yet, it never happens. I turn up at these parties and every parent is off on their own in a far-flung corner of the playground trying to coerce their terrible toddler down from where they have become stuck on a climbing frame.

Any mum of a two-year-old knows it’s hard enough to control them at an afternoon playdate in the park. You’re lucky if you and your fellow mum mates finish a full sentence without having to break up a fight over who had first dibs on the slippery dip. Chuck in a dozen of the little rascals all racing around, sugared up on fairy bread and you’ve got buckley’s of carrying out a conversation.

I think it’s easier to just nix the concept all together. Save yourself the stress! Save yourself the money! By three or four they know what a birthday is. They have mates from daycare. So fine, have a party.

But at two, I guarantee all your kid wants is a day with you. They want your full, undivided attention. They want cuddles on demand and ice cream with sprinkles. Chuck in a ride on a train or a trip to the zoo and you’re basically Parent of the Year.

They can still fist a cake, however. That never goes out of style.