COMMITTEE TO DETERMINE CREATING A COMMITTEE
RAMBLING through some long lost papers last week, I came across a fascinating article and I would like to share it with you. I had forgotten all about it but I do remember it came from the Faculty of Graduate Studies in the University of Calgary, Alberta. It seemed to describe the modern world of consultancies and excessive forward planning in a very imaginative way. It included many, funny, clear insights well worth sharing.
People who know about organisations and structure, about information and planning, about committees and due process, will understand that, had God Himself been process oriented, the Book of Genesis would have read something like what follows .........
In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, so God created a small committee. He carefully balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin and economic status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day.
And God said, “Let the committee draw up a mission statement.” And behold, the committee decided to prioritise and strategise and God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And evening and morning were the second day.
And God said, “Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage in long term planning.” Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all the third day. Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the process was constructive. And evening and morning were the third day.
And God said, “Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision functional organisation and engage in planning by objectives.” The committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequential alternatives to program directions, and God saw that this was good. And God thought that it was even worth all the coffee and doughnuts that he had to supply. And so ended the fourth day.
And God said, “Let the committee be implemented with long range planning and strategy,” The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models. And God saw that this was very democratic, And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional renewal of the debate about the difference between goals and objectives.
On the sixth day, the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory assessment and evaluation. This was not the agenda that God had planned. He wasn’t able to attend, however, because he had taken the afternoon off to create day and night, and heaven and earth and seas and plants and stars and trees and seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fishes and animals and human beings.
On the seventh day, God rested and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turned out that the recommended forms for things were nearly identical to the way that God had created them. So the committee passed a resolution commending God for his implementation according to the guidelines. There was, however, some opinion expressed that people should have been created in the committee’s image. And God caused a deep sleep to fall on the committee ...........
I am now happy to create another committee whose terms of reference include its right to create a committee that will decide on the form and purpose of all other committees.
This new committee’s membership will be selected from the membership of all the other committees. Its membership will be expected to recognise the work done by all the other committees and the inevitable importance of maintaining a decent committee structure .......
And God said that, in future, the work of any committee should be ignored unless it had His specific approval.