TIME TO QUIT YOUR PHONE HANG-UPS

MILLENNIALS SERIOUSLY NEED TO STOP BEING AFRAID OF MAKING CALLS

Ican still vividly recall the first phone call I made for a food delivery. I was about 10, long before the days of UberEats, and all previous pizza orders had been placed by my Very Responsible Older Sister. It was my turn to manage this duty.

As I heard the ringing, a sense of dread built in my chest and all confidence vanished.

When the person picked up I nervously stared at my sister for help, panic-stricken and spluttered “Is it … OK if I … have a pizza?”

These were small rites of passage – minor things we practised as kids to build our sense of responsibility: buying newspapers from the milk bar, learning to use the washing machine, sprinting across the street to snatch up the dog after he snuck through the storm drain to bother the elderly neighbour (that one might be specific to just me), and of course, making phone calls.

For most of my childhood and adolescence, I dreaded phone calls. The medium didn’t suit me, being naturally awkward and prone to both uncomfortable silences and nervous babbling … often all at the same time, somehow.

But now as an alleged Grown Up Millennial, I love a phone call. I need a phone call. I long for the days of phone calls.

I am approximately 1000 years old, reclining on a rocking chair, reminiscing about the good old days. Now that text messages and automated chatbots are the norm, phone calls aren’t as common – and I hate it.

This technology is supposedly more convenient, but I find it to be the exact opposite. It draws out communication.

What could be solved in a five-minute chat is now a frenzied text conversation, full of misunderstandings or delays. (My rocking chair speed is increasing at an alarming rate.)

We might interpret someone leaving a message on ‘read’ as passive-aggressive when really they can’t reply at the time. Maybe they’re at work, maybe they need time to think, maybe just after opening the message a shark bit their arms off. You don’t know! You should have just called!

Of course, a genuine fear of phone calls can be an indicator of anxiety and it’s understandable why text messages are preferable to some. But for me, communicating solely this way ramps up my social anxiety because it’s avoidant, and I overthink each message and each word. Even every emoji. And there’s a huge proportion of folks who also … just hate calls.

I asked Twitter about their response to a ringtone and several people said anxiety wasn’t the major driving force – it was more that calls aren’t standard these days, so it feels strange. One person said they resented having to “drop everything I’m doing for a conversation”. Several people said they felt “awkward” to chat to even their best friends on the phone – one woman said it reminded her of high school.

Well, I propose we barge back into each other’s lives like we’re teenagers again. You know what is more awkward than a phone call? Twenty-seven unread notifications. Six different ways to contact an acquaintance and having to choose which one seems the most normal. Text? WhatsApp? Instagram? (I’ve now fallen out of my rocking chair.)

Ironically, many people are doing digital detoxes and monitoring screen time to lessen the grip our mobiles have on us. I’d bet my last thruppence that ‘spend less time scrolling’ is a common new year’s resolution for people.

So call me instead. Not literally me, unless you have nobody else to talk to and would like to hear my passionate opinions about Let

It Snow on Netflix. Push through that discomfort and call someone.

Ring ring.