WOMEN PROBLEMS

CONSERVATIVE PODCASTER PUT TO THE SWORD FOR HIS SEXIST COMMENTS ABOUT NETFLIX’S FANTASY FICTION THE WITCHER

Andrew Klavan had a few “lady problems’’ with feminism and The

Witcher on his podcast The Andrew Klavan Show, broadcast by right-wing website The Daily Wire.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly been watching The Witcher for its pure historical accuracy.

Forget David Attenborough, anything you learned at school and all the other true-crime Netflix has been trying to shove in your face, because Henry Cavill’s new show is all about the facts.

At least that’s what Andrew Klavan seems to think.

During his podcast, the conservative commentator had a few bones to pick with the hit series. Namely, the inaccurate portrayal of women on the show.

“Immediately I was put off by the fact that there’s a queen in this who fights like a man,” Klavan begins.

“There’s a couple of scenes where women fight with swords. And I just hate these scenes, because no women can fight with swords.

“Zero women can fight with a sword.” Oh gee, thank you for the lesson Andrew, we had no idea! Wait, did anybody tell Netflix before they started production? Do they know their show about witches, elves and monsters is inaccurate? Does Andrzej Sapkowski know his novels are wrong? Are thousands of gamers aware of this incredible error?

In case you got the wrong idea, Klavan went on to explain further: “What I mean by that is in a situation where you are fighting men who are used to fighting with swords, you are going to get killed if you are a woman fighting with a sword 100 per cent of the time.

“A woman with a sword could kill somebody who doesn’t know how to fight with a sword.

“But in a war situation, where you are swinging this five to 10-pound sword again and again and again, against much, much, much stronger men, they are going to kill you.”

Um, I hate to play devil’s advocate here, but wouldn’t every stronger, more skilled fighter beat their opponent … regardless of gender?

If criticising Queen Calanthe’s combat skills weren’t enough, Klavan finished with a fantastic little dig at the queen’s appearance: “They should have made the character a man. She’s a man.

“She’s gross. And she swaggers around and she rips into the meat and tears it with her teeth and curses people out.

“She’s a man.”

Walking? Swearing? Tearing meat … with her teeth? What abject horror! She should be prancing and singing and using a blender to grind her steak down to liquid just like everybody else does, right?

Unsurprisingly, the internet has banded together to educate Mr Klavan.

Some focused on the swordplay itself …

Ali A Olomi @aaolomi

you find out about Boudica, Joan of Arc, Khawlah b. Al Azwar, Lady Trieu, Mai Bhago or the scores of other women warriors.”

While others questioned him on his perception of fantasy…

Samantha Shannon @say_shannon

I almost want to thank this man for providing a flawless example of how the notion of “accuracy’’ is used selectively (and insidiously) in fantasy. It’s okay for men to do the impossible, but not women.

It’s not real, Andrew. I don’t know how to explain this to you.

But there’s no doubt Twitter user @Nick_Pettigrew summed up the ridiculousness best, dropping this absolute zinger.

Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew

If you’re watching something that has elves and dragons in it and the bit you find unbelievable is a woman fighting with a sword, you have to ask yourself just how tiny your penis actually is. We can’t even imagine how pissed Arya Stark is right now. Man you’re going to be so surprised when