Topic all parents dread
WARNING: This column is M-rated and may contain graphic content not suitable for children … or parents who like to pretend their offspring are not getting to “that age”.
How to start this column without embarrassing someone (namely me). No? OK.
So, we all grew up hearing “keep playing with it and it’ll fall off” or the other gem “you’ll go blind”, yes?
You with me? We all go through “that stage” of exploration. And if you were lucky, you had a responsible adult to talk to about it. Or maybe someone put Where Did I Come From? on the VCR and bolted from the living room.
But for most of our generation, the rudimentary lesson regarding self-exploration came with an addendum (that’s a side note – now get your mind back on topic) about shame.
But since sexual education isn’t taboo in my home, I also don’t subscribe to any notions of guilt or shame or dirtiness.
It’s private, absolutely, but I would never have my children think what they’re experiencing is anything less than natural. There’s no appendages falling off or eternal damnation awaiting them.
“So do you do it, mum?”
... looong pause ... so long they might have mistaken me for that sloth on Zootopia.
Let’s cut to the following morning when I was invited to a live video chat of women drinking wine and talking about all the things they’d rather do than talk to their kids about sex: “listen to my husband talk about his day”, “give birth”, “go to the DMV”, etc.
They were amusing and terribly inventive, and I did not entirely disagree.
For all my progressiveness, there’s still significant discomfort trying to reverse the feelings that were planted in my teenage mind.
But I have to supply my own addendum here … I’d rather kids get their information from a reliable source who has their best interests at heart.
Same as I would rather they grow into consenting adults who know what they are comfortable doing, and that lesson starts on their own in a private space free from shame.
I WOULD NEVER HAVE MY CHILDREN THINK WHAT THEY’RE EXPERIENCING IS ANYTHING LESS THAN NATURAL.