AIMING FOR IMPERFECTION

SIX MENTAL HEALTH RESOLUTIONS PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY YOU CAN STICK WITH THIS YEAR

New year, new you. They’re the four words that spark fear into our hearts each January. It’s a well-worn, cliched reminder that we need to be constantly working on ourselves and quite frankly, it’s exhausting.

This year, instead of torturing yourself with new year’s resolutions that involve abolishing all the fun food groups from your diet, why not focus on some constructive goals that will help you stay on top of your mental health?

With 20 per cent of Aussies likely to experience a mental health issue this year – and almost half of us guaranteed to experience a mental illness in our lifetime – a psychologist-endorsed resolution that aims to help in this area can only be a positive, right?

MAKE IMPERFECT YOUR NEW PERFECT

“We put way too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We convince ourselves that we have to be the perfect friend/wife/partner/ parent/colleague to be worthwhile, but it’s a sham. Perfect doesn’t exist, but more than that, you don’t have to be perfect to be great. Aiming for imperfection is another great resolution – stop trying to be the perfect parent, the perfect wife, the perfect friend. You’ll still be a great parent/wife/friend and you’ll be happier.” – Dr Sarah Hughes, clinical psychologist and author

BECOME A BOUNDARY BUILDER

“During the summer period people may ask more from you. In addition to practical help, some people might want to discuss your personal life or give their opinion on your circumstances when you may just want to relax and have a good time. If you think that you might have contact with any of these types of people (you’ll know who they are.

They are remarkably consistent!) then prepare beforehand how you will best manage saying ‘No’’ and changing the topic in this circumstance. I personally prefer a simple ‘I don’t want to talk about that today’’ and ask them a counter question.” – Gemma Cribb, clinical psychologist and founder of Equilibrium Collective

MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS

“It is important that we are SMART in our decisions and goals. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Action oriented, Realistic and Time bound. If your resolution is to spend more time with your partner then you can do that when you’re sleeping next to them, but it likely won’t have the outcome you were hoping for. Instead, if the outcome is to spend more time with your partner then a SMART goal might sound like, ‘Each day when we have finished dinner, I will spend 10 minutes actively with my partner. During this 10 minutes I will turn off my phone and the TV and spend the time meaningfully connecting with them in a mutually enjoyable experience’.” – Tara Hurster, principal psychologist at The Tara Clinic

FIND WAYS TO BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW

“We waste so much time waiting to be happy. With big things – life will be so much better once I’m finally promoted/in my own home/ with the right person/a parent – but little things as well – I’ll wait for a special occasion and then I’ll wear that new jacket/use that special moisturiser/drink that expensive bottle of wine.

“There’s nothing wrong with looking to the future and setting goals, in fact having a sense of purpose can be a great thing, but you can be ambitious and still find happiness in the here and now. Work towards your goals but also appreciate your here and now. And stop waiting for special occasions – spoil yourself daily.” – Dr Sarah Hughes

FOCUS ON BOUNTY NOT DEFICIT

“Research has shown that focusing on gratitude and what you do have can improve your mood. Thinking about where in your life you are lucky and what you can be grateful for rather than what you’re missing out on will always be the better choice. If you want to supercharge this, spending some of your summer break volunteering to help out those less fortunate than you will certainly help you appreciate your lucky situation.” – Gemma

Cribb

GET INTO THERAPY

“By this time in your life you will have collected some life experiences which have been challenging. As a result, you may be dealing with (or have some experience with) anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, loneliness, burnout or stress, just to name a few. One way through a confusing time is to seek the support of a therapist. When was the last time you had the undivided attention of a wise, warm, compassionate, knowledgeable and smart person? How would that feel? Getting into therapy will help you immensely. It’s an investment in you. Remember, you’re in charge, the therapist is there to guide, support, challenge but never to force you to go somewhere you don’t feel ready to go.” –

Katrina Alilovic, Counselling Psychologist www.whimn.com.au NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE? Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or beyondblue.org.au Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au Headspace: 1800 650 890 or headspace.org.au