Reality really does bite

FROM THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MIRIAM TO TEMPTATION ISLAND, WE RUN THROUGH THE WORST OF THE VERY WORST

Despite what the flaming cesspool of

last season’s Married At First Sight may have had you thinking, reality television has actually come a long way. The genre started to gain steam way back in the

early 2000s, when shows like Laguna Beach, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and The Simple Life were all the rage.

Once word got around that appearing on a reality show could make the non-famous, famous (hello Survivor, Big Brother and The Bachelor), the whole damn scene just

exploded.

A landscape once reserved for potential romance and physical challenge pursuits (or both, in the case of running after those

Cheaters), the dinky little reality TV scene quickly morphed into an unstoppable beast, as bigger, more outlandish, and – quite frankly – extremely problematic ideas spewed forth.

While shows like Beauty & The Geek and

Seven Year Switch aren’t exactly setting the world on fire with political correctness, they ain’t got nothing on these disgraceful concepts.

THE SWAN

This 2004 reality show saw insecure women vying for a chance to win an extreme makeover beauty pageant – that age old tale of the ugly duckling becoming a beautiful swan.

Each week two contestants were assigned a panel of experts, including personal trainer, cosmetic surgeon, dentist and therapist, and given a complete physical overhaul – everything from weight loss and liposuction to rhinoplasty and veneers. The winning contestant would go on to compete in the season-end beauty pageant – yes, featuring evening gown, lingerie and swimwear components.

The Swan was (unsurprisingly) slammed by critics for encouraging women to base their self-worth on their looks, and dropped after only two seasons.

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MIRIAM

This 2003 dating show featured six men trying to win the love of model Miriam Rivera, as well as their chance at a cash prize of £10,000. Sounds pretty standard, right? Unfortunately the secret twist was that Miriam was transgender, unbeknown to her potential suitors.

Unsurprisingly, the contestants tried to stop the show going to air by filing a lawsuit against production, citing psychological and emotional damage. There’s Something About Miriam eventually went to air in multiple countries after the men settled for an undisclosed sum.

Miriam went on to star on Australian Big Brother, and was sadly found dead in her apartment in Mexico in February last year.

TEMPTATION ISLAND

Originally a Dutch TV program, Temptation Island was so successful it went on to be adapted in over 20 countries.

The premise saw four couples join a host of singles on an island resort to test the strength of their love. The featured couples were to decide if they wanted to stay together. The singles’ task? To help those temporarily broken-up couples to forget they were part of a couple at all.

While Temptation Island could be considered car crash television in the vein of MAFS, just sending them all to couples counselling may have been the better option here.

JOE MILLIONAIRE

An attempted spin on The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire saw a group of women complete for the heart of a millionaire, eligible hunk Evan Marriott.

The twist? Evan was, in fact, not a millionaire. Evan’s secret was kept until the final episode, where it was revealed that he was nothing but a lowly construction worker. If the chosen winner stayed with Evan regardless of his financial status, the couple would be surprised with a million dollars.

Joe Millionaire ended after two seasons (presumably because everyone knew the twist), but that didn’t stop the reality TV boffins trying to rehash old ground with I Wanna Marry Harry in 2014. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is – 12 American women tricked into thinking they’re vying for the heart of none other than Prince Harry himself. Nice try guys.

BOY MEETS BOY

Don’t let the first-ever same-sex dating show trick you into thinking it was progressive.

Boy Meets Boy saw gay bachelor James meet 15 potential love interests, choosing which he’d like to eliminate each week. Unfortunately for James, seven of those contestants were secretly straight.

If James’s final choice was gay, he and his new partner would win a cash prize and a trip for two. However, if the final suitor he chose was straight, he would win $25K, and James would win nothing.

In not at all surprising news, Boy Meets Boy was cancelled after one season.