‘Robbed’ by a lucky Victorian

A GREAT wail went up over Toowoomba this week, accompanied by tearing of hair and/ or clothes, a gnashing of teeth, and generally distressing cries of anguish – some lucky (expletive) in Victoria had scooped the $80 million Powerball draw all by themselves.

As one Toowoomba office worker who has been trying to retire on a golden ticket remarked to whispers: “We were supposed to win it with our work syndicate. That’s our retirement fund they stole.”

But despair has since given way to anger that a Victorian was even able to leave the house and purchase a Lotto ticket in the first place.

“That’s hardly essential business,” another Whispers spy observed, noting the place is currently in total lockdown.

But Whispers is unsure it will matter in the long run.

Let’s draw a very long bow and assume the Victorian constablery elect to fine the lucky individual.

By Whispers’ calculation they’ll still have $79,998,348 in the bank. Puppy love

IS THERE anything sweeter on God’s green earth than a fresh litter of puppies.

So cute and inquisitive, full of enthusiasm and rushing to tackle the world head-on; they remind Whispers of when he was a young scribe.

In any case, one Toowoomba lass recently caved and allowed her newly acquired pups to sleep inside on their second night at home.

No sooner had one of the adorable young fluffballs entered the house it promptly defecated on the floor.

There’s always someone ruining things for everyone else.