BLAME-ITIS A BLIGHT

It’s incredible how many people these days suffer from Blame-itis – the need to blame others, to work through an endless excuses list and believing that “the dog ate my homework” will actually keep them off the hook.

At its worst, Blame-itis evolves and becomes the affliction of finding reasons as to why others achieved, and you didn’t.

There are three ways of becoming affected by Blame-itis:

1. THE DETRACTOR

The Detractor blames something else for their lack of achievement; everything from the economy, government, market, competition, industry, become the excuse for not making progress.

2. THE DEFLECTOR

The Deflector blames someone else for their lack of achievement; it’s their boss’s fault, friend’s fault, Penny in accounts or Bob in marketing’s fault for why they can’t get things achieved.

3. THE DEFEATIST

The Defeatist blames themselves for their lack of achievement; “I’m not good enough, smart enough, clever enough, skilled enough” become the constant inner dialogue.

Whether you are a Detractor, Deflector or Defeatist, the results of Blame-itis are evident – ineffectiveness, status quo, and inaction.

The top line is this: Blame-itis is not accepting responsibility or accountability for any of your actions or behaviours, making excuses and not accepting that maybe, just maybe, you did play a critical part in things not quite going to plan.

So how do you cure a case of Blame-itis?

1. TAKE OWNERSHIP

Of course, we all have different baggage, backgrounds, financial situations, and stuff going on. But if you want it enough, if you are hungry enough and if you take control of owning your role in writing your story, creating your own dreams, then action does happen.

Own your successes and your failures. Own your dreams, your goals and your behaviours. Own the actions you take.

Own the highs and the lows, the results and the failures. Own the opportunity to continuously learn and grow because only by doing this will you head down the road labelled “Personal Success”.

2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

Whether things go to plan or not, hold yourself 100 per cent accountable for the outcome, whatever it may be.

Assess what you could do differently next time and take note of what you have learnt because this will absolutely create the right next appropriate action towards achieving your ultimate goals.

3. FIND THE LESSON

Don’t be afraid of failure or admitting your mistakes. When we give ourselves permission to fail, incredible lessons are learnt. Failure is a chance to regroup, to learn and grow.

Unless you’re really willing to learn the lesson, even if it feels uncomfortable at times, you can never move forward.

4. LET GO AND MOVE ON

Dwelling on the small stuff can be debilitating. We end up in a never-ending cycle of “coulda, shoulda, woulda”. Unless we let go of the blame game and finger pointing, accept what happened and embrace the leanings from the situation, we are unable to move forward. The choice is yours – sit in a quagmire of excuses and the resulting sludge of status quo or accept that things didn’t quite go to plan, regroup, re-plan and move on.

Janine Garner is a global thought leader on powerful networking, collaboration and transformational leadership and the author of Be Brilliant – how to lead a life of influence (Wiley).